so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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