Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
