i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
