after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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