She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She has the best kind of daddy issues
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
