What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you traded sex for a burrito?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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