marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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