Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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