JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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