ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
