We're facebook friends in real life
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
