I'm so fucking centered right now
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
