So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
