Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
