he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
