I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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