She is in my trunk
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize