So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
