I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
