I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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