Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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