i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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