She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think i got beer on your cat.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
