i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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