Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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