I cockslap morals
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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