1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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