You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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