did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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