i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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