'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
