I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
