You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
