I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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