Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize