she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
