Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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