I wish my penis had an off switch
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
