i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
