how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize