We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
