4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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