You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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