I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
