fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
