and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
