i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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