It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
