you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
