remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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