I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
