So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize