I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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