I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
