My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
