I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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